Actual text message conversation between my mother and I last night:
Me: well what did u think? You’re killing me over here smalls! (about the blog)
Mom: I thought you did a great job and I have been thinking about my response. Is it appropriate for your mom to respond??
Me: Absolutely! Please do! I love it! Brett is confused. Stupid men.
Mom: What is he confused about?? I just told your dad and he said what’s a blog? And why would u want anyone to know your feelings?
Mom: 40 Years! (how long they have been married and he still doesn’t get it)
Me: I swear I think I married dad!
Mom: There must be 2 more of him, your sister says the same thing!
Me: Maybe it’s true. All men are basically the same.
Mom: Next blog topic!
Me: Oh for sure, already writing it!
I love the fact that my mom totally gets the blog. I am not surprised that it confuses my husband and dad. Sometimes when I am feeling emotional about something I just want to vent and get it out. Most women will listen and empathize. When I do this with my husband he tries to fix the problem. Sometimes that is good, but most of the time I just need him to listen. My dad is the same way, why talk about emotions or problems? Just fix it and move on. I wish!!
I think it boils down to a fundamental difference in how men and womens’ brains work and how society seems to teach men that it is not okay to have feelings. I have noticed when my nephew gets hurts or cries the men tell him “Oh you’re fine, it doesn’t hurt. Quit crying.” However, when my nieces get upset there is a totally different reaction from men as they generally try to comfort them. It seems to be okay for the girls to have emotions but the boys need to repress them in order to be “real men.”
It is good to have feelings as long as it does not control your entire life. I hope that one day our men will be able to have them too.
The night is calling... 