THE SUBTYPES OF NARCISSISM

I recently wrote this paper for my work at NEST, the Domestic Violence Shelter here in Ruidoso.  There are several subtypes that I truly believe explains some of the issues our country is dealing with today.  Please read it and see how it applies to the people in your life and how they behave.  It really helped me clarify how some people behave.

EXPLORING THE SUBTYPES OF NARCISSISM

Throughout history, narcissism has been a fascinating part of human nature. We’ve seen extreme examples in figures like Adolf Hitler and more recently Donald Trump – people whose self-absorption and lack of empathy have had far-reaching consequences. While most of us know narcissists as those who love themselves excessively and seem indifferent to others’ feelings, there’s actually much more to understand about this complex trait.

Narcissism isn’t just one thing – it exists on a spectrum from healthy to unhealthy. Surprisingly, some narcissistic traits can be beneficial when they’re balanced. It’s when these traits become extreme and start harming relationships that we enter unhealthy territory.

HEALTHY NARCISSISM

Believe it or not, having a healthy dose of narcissism can be good for us. Think about it – feeling confident in your abilities and being able to take care of yourself without guilt are positive traits. These people can celebrate their wins without needing constant validation. They build genuine connections rather than collecting admirers, and their self-assurance makes them naturally appealing to others.

OVERT NARCISSISM

We all know this type – they’re the ones who can’t stop talking about their achievements and truly believe they’re God’s gift to humanity. They’re usually charming extroverts who love the spotlight and can work a room like nobody’s business. While they might attract plenty of people initially, their relationships tend to fizzle out because they can’t connect on a deeper level.

VULNERABLE NARCISSISM

These folks might surprise you – they often appear shy and self-critical, but underneath lurks intense emotional fragility and constant comparison to others. They’re the ones silently keeping score of others’ successes while battling their own demons. Their fear of rejection often leads to isolation and, in severe cases, thoughts of suicide.

HYPERVIGILANT NARCISSISM

Think of these people as emotional security guards – always on duty, always scanning for threats. They’re exhausting themselves looking for hidden insults or signs of rejection in every interaction. While they crave recognition, their fear of criticism makes social situations feel like walking through a minefield.

GRANDIOSE NARCISSISM

This type of narcissism displays pattern of pretentiousness, superiority and a lack of consideration for others’ time. These traits can be common in people but seem to be more exaggerated with grandiose narcissism.  They may be more assertive, exploitative and extroverted.  Because they believe strongly in their intelligence and abilities, they tend to have a strong distrust of superiors and experts.  They tend to gravitate towards people who provide them with an abundance of admiration.  They can use this to feed into exaggerated and false beliefs about their abilities, purpose, importance or identity (also known as delusions of grandeur.) 

EXHIBITIONIST NARCISSISM

This type of narcissist has to be the center of attention or the life of the party.  What they crave is the admiration of others and they will go to great lengths to be noticed.  They also want to be around people who are admired as they believe they should be.  Often, they will tell others what to wear, how to smile and what to say or not say.  They fully believe others view them as deserving and special as they see themselves.  They are the ultimate photo bombers, party crashers and unrepentant attention grabbers.

 MALIGNANT NARCISSISM

This refers to those exhibiting both narcissist personality disorder as well as an antisocial personality disorder.  When they are combined they show up as arrogance, a lack of empathy, a tendency to use and exploit others, a need for power and recognition and they experience pleasure from the mistreatment of others.  They also have difficulty with relationships, more impairments and worse responses to treatment than the typical narcissist.

ANTAGONISTIC NARCISSISM

The antagonistic narcissist lacks the charm of other narcissistic types and instead display the more unappealing traits of arrogance, entitlement, lack of empathy and disregard for others’ wellbeing.  They tend to be highly defensive, assume the worst in others’ comments and respond with anger to any real or imagines slights.  All in all, they present an unattractive persona to others.

SPIRITUAL NARCISSISM

Spiritual narcissists derive self-worth from their ability to control, manipulate and influence others and their faith.  They use their spirituality to hurt others by fear-mongering, shaming and narcissistic gaslighting.  They will also bring their faith and spirituality into all conversations and judge others for their spiritual approach or lack thereof.  They will use scripture to prove that they are correct, ignoring anything that does not fit their viewpoint.  Anyone can be a spiritual narcissist but they are usually people in positions of power.

SEXUAL NARCISSISM

Sexual narcissists are people who lack empathy for their sexual partner, demonstrate an inflated sense of sexual esteem, prioritize their own sexual satisfaction, feel entitled to sex when and where they want it and expect frequent praise for their sexual performance.  At the beginning of the relationship it is romantic and passionate (which is how they win over their partners) but then it usually turns transactional, one-sided and even aggressive.  While they seem to value physical intimacy and have an abundance of confidence in their performance, sexual narcissists have an intimacy disorder where they have difficulty giving and receiving emotional intimacy.

VINDICTIVE NARCISSISM

Vindictive narcissists are hypersensitive to rejection, disagreements, boundaries being set and perceived criticism.  They take all experiences personally and are really hurt by them even though they won’t admit it.  They may respond with terrorization and attacks towards the person they perceive as being difficult.  Some of their behavior may include talking behind someone’s back, sabotaging someone’s career, blackmailing, or with narcissist rage.  Their opinion of the person who “betrayed” them is relentless and hard to change.

SOMATIC NARCISSISM

Somatic narcissists derive their self-worth and a sense of superiority from their perception of their physical bodies.  They will use their figures and the physical space around them to express their traits.  Some narcissists present with confidence, they tend to obsess over their appearance while criticizing the appearance of others which shows their underlying low self-esteem and insecurity. 

CEREBRAL NARCISSISM

A cerebral narcissist is also known as an intellectual narcissist who want to be perceived as well-read, intelligent and an expert in all things.  They are egocentric, boast about their knowledge, excessively correct others, use their intelligence against others and downplay everyone else’s intellectual abilities.  While they are generally smart they present themselves as more educated then they really are to mask their underlying insecurities and lack of insight.

COMMUNAL NARCISSISM

Communal narcissists believe they have extraordinary capability and potential and often think they are the best listeners, socializers, helpers and charitable people on Earth.  They possess inflated, grandiose perceptions of themselves within a communal environment.  They are fairly hypocritical as most of their focus centers on meeting their own needs.

These 14 types of narcissism really let you delve into the depths of other peoples’ minds.  I think that most normal people have some healthy narcissism while the other 13 are extreme examples of how narcissism can warp the human brain.  What is the best way to deal with a narcissist?  You need to educate yourself, set clear boundaries, prioritize your own emotional and mental wellbeing, avoid conflict if possible, and know when to walk away and leave a relationship that is completely one-sided.  Remember: You are not responsible for changing or saving a narcissist. Your focus should be on protecting yourself and your well-being.  It’s possible for some people to display certain traits, such as delusions of grandeur or a sense of entitlement, without it being the result of a more significant mental health condition.  The only way to distinguish between random traits and a true disorder is through an evaluation with a mental health professional.  Of course, even people with narcissistic traits might benefit from the help of a mental health professional.  Regardless of a larger diagnosis, some traits can harm relationships, personal development, and well-being.  Remember, while NPD is a mental health condition, it doesn’t excuse harmful or abusive behavior.