It’s late at night on a Saturday and I have been watching some pretty amazing television all day! Good things are happening and I find that as I get older I appreciate the little things in life so much more! My husband has found a new job and he is happy now! Do not under estimate the power of being useful and working somewhere that appreciates all that you do. We may not be rich but we do what we can to make this life meaningful. My dog is happy thus I am happy. He is the joy in my life. It’s the little things that add up to a rich and fulfilling life.
I am not an easy person to love, I am stubborn, opinionated, willful, crazy and extremely passionate. My husband does not always appreciate these qualities but he knows I am authentic. When I was a teenager I am sure that my parents felt the same way. Like any teenager I wanted independence and I defied my parents at every turn. I think I was probably a little more extreme than most but I still hate being told how to behave. One of the reasons life has been so much more rewarding in my older years is the close relationship between my parents and I.
I didn’t hate my parents when I was young but I felt as though we were eons apart. Over the span of many years my relationship with them has evolved into a closeness that I would never have thought possible. I was the oldest child of three and I chafed at the restrictions placed upon me. I don’t think my parents knew exactly how to handle the willful child that I became. I was adopted and that caused a great deal of angst for me that was totally internal regarding my feelings of self worth. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my mother these feelings and this caused me a great deal of anger, not towards any specific person but with life in general. As I have aged this anger has receded and I have come to view my existence in a different light.
I am so lucky, my mother and father have loved me no matter what. Through my anger, my addictions, my utter disregard for their feelings they have stood by me and loved me in spite of my many flaws. I know that they are eternally in my corner no matter how much I have tried to push them away.
I am one of the lucky ones whose parents are still together. When we spend time together I always notice the little things they do for one another, the love they still have after 40 years. I have been married for 17 years and I know that this is rare. They still laugh and tease one another and my dad still lets my mom knows he loves her by the little things he does. My mother is my closest confidant and she is so much cooler now that I am an adult. When I was young I hid many things from her but now I find myself telling her it all. The reason for that is I know she always has my back no matter how many mistakes I make. I an quite simply the luckiest daughter to have her by my side. If I didn’t have her I would not know what to do.
My dad was a harder nut to crack. When I was younger we were miles apart. I did not appreciate the sacrifices and the backbone it took for him to support our family. My dad is the strongest, toughest, most hardass man I have ever known. Our mutual stubbornness caused us to butt heads many times but he has only gotten better with age. Now he is the most loving, funny, coolest dad a girl can have. I genuinely enjoy the relationship we have now and the conversations we have are special.
I guess what I am trying to say is that the relationship you have with your parents when you are a young, confused, messed up teenager will eventually blossom into sometime more, something to be cherished and grateful for
So don’t give up, keep loving the parents you have because one day they may enrich your life and become your closest friends. I cannot imagine a life without them, nor do I want to. Mom, Dad, thank you for everything and for your never ending love. I would not be the person I am without it. I am so lucky.
The night is calling... 
I am glad Brett has a job and you can benefit from it. Life can be tough with your parents as I had the same problems you had with your parents. I was the oldest and they tried all the rules out on me. My two younger sisters didn’t appreciate what I went through for them but later in life they did. I miss my mother so much now and in the last few years if I could just sit and talk with her it would be great. When my husband died, I was lost for a while but I realized that I could either sit at my house or I could have a life still. When I moved back to Pawhuska, it was like a new beginning for me. My best friend Carrie Ann and I have lots of fun and maybe some day I will remarry and not be so lonesome.
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